How to Handle Being Benched: A Player's Guide to Mental Toughness
- Dr Paul McCarthy
- 2 days ago
- 8 min read
The 1999 European Cup Final took an unexpected turn when two substitutes altered its destiny. Teddy Sheringham and Ole Gunnar Solskjear came off the bench to score late goals that gave Manchester United a 2-1 victory .
Substitutes often feel left out, yet they regularly turn games around with their fresh legs, sharp focus, and desire to prove themselves . Many legendary players built their careers from the bench before becoming stars . The mental challenge of handling bench time can overwhelm athletes at every level.
The substitution rules have changed by a lot over the last several years. Elite competitions now allow teams to make five substitutions during a game . Teams must make these changes in just three separate windows . Many games end with several substitutes who never get to play .
Bench time means more than just waiting for your chance. Substitutes play a vital but often invisible role during training sessions . Team practice reaches its peak quality and intensity when every squad member gives their maximum effort .
In this piece, you'll discover practical ways to handle bench time while staying mentally sharp. You'll learn to turn your frustration into drive and respond to bench time in ways that boost your athletic career instead of holding it back.
What Does Being Benched Mean in Sports?
Sports fields' sidelines hold countless untold stories. A spot on the bench means much more than just sitting out - it's a complex position that brings strategic value, mental challenges, and team dynamics into play.
Understanding the role of a substitute
Substitutes are crucial tactical assets, not just replacement players. They work as the coach's problem-solving unit and get picked to address specific game situations [1]. Coaches don't simply pick the "best" available player - they choose substitutes who can solve the team's immediate challenges, from defensive stability to rebounding, scoring, or energy [1]. The team also benefits from these players' enthusiasm and support that brings vital energy [1].
Why players get benched
Players end up on the bench for many reasons beyond poor performance. Some common reasons include:
The time spent on the bench matters too. A few innings usually means discipline, while multiple games point to punishment [2]. Many coaches see benching as "strategic discipline" rather than reactive punishment that helps set expectations and build character [2].
Common misconceptions about being benched
The biggest problem comes from thinking benched players lack skill or value. The starting lineup often shows balance rather than just the five best players [1]. One coach put it well: "Bench players aren't just substitutes waiting their turn – they are a coach's problem-solving unit" [1]. People often think benching means punishment, but it works as a teaching tool or strategic decision [2].
There's another reason why viewing teammates as competition hurts team chemistry [1]. Successful teams know that each member brings unique value to success, whatever their role on the court or bench [1].
Building Mental Toughness on the Bench
Being benched hits hard emotionally and can test any athlete's resilience. Athletes who sit on the bench often feel embarrassed, rejected, and frustrated. These emotions can hurt your performance if you don't handle them well.
Reframing your mindset as an impact player
Don't label yourself as "just a bench player." You are an impact athlete who makes a difference. Athletes at Elite Camps learn that every challenge gives them a chance to grow [4]. Think of yourself as a competitive athlete instead of a bench warmer [5]. This change in perspective reshapes how you handle practice and game situations.
Your role as a substitute can affect the game by a lot when you bring fresh energy at crucial moments [6]. Your effort during practice lifts everyone's performance and makes teammates reach new levels while building team unity [5].
Dealing with frustration and rejection
Your original feelings of hurt or disappointment about being benched are natural [3]. Take a moment to feel these emotions but don't let them consume you [3]. You need to stay mentally sharp despite these feelings [4].
Focus on what you can control. Ask yourself useful questions: "What can I learn from being benched?" and "How can I use this situation to improve my game?" [3]. This mindset turns tough times into chances to build resilience [4].
Staying confident without validation
The biggest challenge of being benched is keeping your self-belief without others' approval. Your confidence must come from within rather than from people telling you how great you are [7].
Build your confidence through:
Deep breathing before competition to calm your mind [8]
Positive self-talk to challenge negative thoughts ("I can do this" instead of "This is impossible") [9]
Self-compassion when you make mistakes or face setbacks [9]
Setting realistic goals that you can achieve instead of ones that might hurt your confidence [9]
Being benched is a chance to develop mental toughness - a skill that helps your entire athletic career [3].
How to Stay Ready and Make the Most of Your Chance
Good preparation sets successful substitutes apart from players who just wait for their turn. Making a difference as a bench player needs careful thought and work both on and off the field.
Training like a starter
Your game minutes might be limited, but you need to stay as fit as a starter through extra work. Players should join "top-up sessions" that match real game intensity after matches where they barely played [10]. These after-game workouts must include aerobic, technical, and strength components to make up for missing actual game time [10].
Think of practice sessions as your real games [11]. This change in mindset helps you show coaches you're ready while building your skills. Many winning teams aim to have "the best bench in the competition" [12]. They know that team depth often decides who wins championships.
Staying mentally engaged during games
A well-laid-out bench routine helps you stay focused. Start warming up about four minutes before each quarter ends - don't wait for the coach to tell you [11]. Watch your teammates and opponents closely in the first 20 minutes, then look at tactical elements through the middle part [13].
This mental work will help you perform when called up. JuJu Smith-Schuster said it best after being benched: "When the opportunity is called for me, I'll be ready" [14].
Using limited minutes to show value
Think quality over quantity with your playing time. Put all your energy into doing your specific job well [15]. Players often earn starting spots by avoiding mistakes during their brief chances [15].
Coaches look for players who can solve specific game situations [12]. You should become either a "closer" who can protect a lead or a "spark" who lifts the team's energy [13].
Learning from watching the game
The bench can be your classroom where you learn about the game from a different point of view [4]. Watch how players handle pressure, see what makes them effective, and spot patterns you can use [4].
One coach puts it well: "If you're on the bench, you are your teammates' eyes" [11]. You can help your teammates during breaks by telling them about their opponent's habits or weak spots you've noticed [11].
Communicating and Growing Through the Process
Effective communication serves as a lifeline for benched players. Players who succeed on the bench know that open dialog and personal growth shape their future on the team.
How to talk to your coach about playing time
You should initiate the playing time conversation, not your parents [16]. Pick the right moment to schedule a meeting—never during games or right after when emotions are high [17]. During your coach meeting, ask specific questions like: "What can I do to earn more playing time at this position?" or "What areas of my performance need development?" [18]
Your approach carries as much weight as your questions. Stay professional, show respect, and be genuinely open to feedback [18]. Coaches value players who ask how they can help the team win more than those who just complain about minutes [14].
Accepting feedback and working on weaknesses
Just like pro athletes, you need to handle feedback well [1]. Athletes must constantly fine-tune their awareness and technique based on regular evaluation, unlike executives who don't deal very well with criticism [1].
Don't dwell on negative comments while ignoring positive ones [1]. Feedback targets your actions, not who you are as a person [1]. Practice "radical accountability" by examining yourself first before blaming others [1]. Learn to catch yourself quickly before falling into defensive habits [1].
Supporting teammates while staying competitive
Mature athletes know how to balance personal goals with team loyalty. Support your teammates actively and keep communication positive while on the bench [6]. Show leadership through consistent work ethic and support for others, even during frustrating times [14].
Strike the right balance between healthy competition and teamwork [19]. Your path to collective success starts with seeing teammates as partners rather than rivals [20]. Note that even fierce competitors like Tom Brady adapted their style to different teammates—pushing some while encouraging others [1].
Conclusion
A benched athlete's character and resilience face their toughest test. This piece explores how substitutes play vital tactical roles beyond just replacing other players. Players who turn their bench time into chances to grow often come back stronger and better prepared to succeed.
Your mindset makes all the difference here. Don't see yourself as "just a bench player." Instead, see yourself as an athlete ready to solve specific problems when the team needs you. This change in viewpoint helps you stay confident without needing others' approval.
Your preparation carries real weight. You show your team's value by training hard like a starter and staying focused during games. The bench gives you a perfect spot to study game patterns that starters might miss while they play.
Clear communication proves essential for benched players. Open talks with coaches, positive responses to feedback, and support for teammates while staying competitive build the foundation for lasting success in sports.
Many sports legends started their careers on the bench before becoming starters. Your current spot is just one chapter in your sports experience. Take on this challenge with the right attitude and you'll build mental strength that helps you way beyond the field.
Your value goes far beyond your game time. True athletes shine brightest when facing tough times. These strategies can help turn what feels like a setback into a chance for amazing growth and future wins.
Key Takeaways
Being benched isn't about lacking skill—it's an opportunity to develop mental toughness and become a strategic impact player who can change games when called upon.
• Reframe your mindset: View yourself as a problem-solving impact player, not just a substitute waiting for a chance • Train like a starter: Maintain peak physical condition and mental engagement through additional workouts and focused preparation • Communicate professionally: Schedule respectful meetings with coaches asking specific questions about improvement areas • Use bench time strategically: Study the game, support teammates, and stay ready to contribute when opportunities arise • Transform adversity into growth: Accept feedback constructively and build confidence from within rather than seeking external validation
The bench serves as your classroom and proving ground. Many sports legends started as substitutes before becoming starters, using their time on the sidelines to develop the mental toughness and game intelligence that ultimately defined their careers.
References
[1] - https://www.jodymichael.com/blog/how-to-handle-feedback-like-an-athlete/[2] - https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10056869/[3] - https://www.peaksports.com/sports-psychology-blog/how-athletes-can-cope-with-getting-benched/[4] - https://hoopdreams.elitecamps.com/blog/turning-bench-time-into-opportunity/[5] - https://www.peaksports.com/sports-psychology-blog/how-to-be-an-impact-player-from-the-bench/[6] - https://blayze.io/blog/soccer/how-to-make-an-impact-as-a-substituate-soccer-newsletter[7] - https://www.hayliemccleney.com/blog/how-to-handle-getting-benched[8] - https://www.mouratoglou.com/en/conseils-coaching/coaching-corner/physical-and-mental-preparation/self-confidence-in-sport-how-to-boost-your-mental-strength/[9] - https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-boost-your-self-confidence-4163098[10] - https://simplifaster.com/articles/training-soccer-substitutes-fitness/[11] - https://netfitnetball.com/news/my-5-top-tips-to-survive-a-season-of-lengthy-bench-time/[12] - https://www.athleteassessments.com/bench-management-and-engagement-in-sport-5-minutes-with-bo-hanson/[13] - https://vblaine.substack.com/p/training-your-bench-how-to-prepare?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share[14] - https://www.peaksports.com/sports-psychology-blog/how-to-respond-after-being-benched/[15] - https://isport360.com/how-to-earn-more-playing-time/[16] - https://www.paigetonz.com/blog/how-to-talk-to-your-coaches-about-playing-time[17] - https://www.teamgrassroots.co.uk/the-dreaded-playing-time-conversation/[18] - https://footxfit.com/6-steps-to-get-off-the-bench-in-football/[19] - https://www.quill.com/blog/how-to-balance-your-competitive-nature-and-still-be-a-collaborative-team-player/?srsltid=AfmBOoo8sdr5a0J7JJSW2K6NXmg0dT5iE608QsmOOe4Mxrj2OC1XJ4Rc[20] - https://www.forbes.com/sites/karadennison/2022/03/14/competition-vs-teamwork-how-leaders-can-find-the-right-balance/
