When I work in private practice, the population is short on confidence and overflowing on criticism, blame and judgement. We can examine confidence with perspective. First, confidence is many things not just one thing but we often see our confidence with a distorted sight line and ignore the many parts of our lives where we think, feel and act confidently. Second, confidence comes from doing. We gain confidence through our actions and learning from our experiences. Third, confidence is also about choosing. Choosing to interpret your experiences in a healthy, supportive and persuasive way. Finally, confidence depends on limiting how much you blame yourself. If you kick yourself for not meeting a specific standard you cut off the energy, you need to keep moving. It’s time to examine the situation; it’s time to find the small wins in everything you do.
Here are three practical tips to help restore and build your confidence
1. Appreciate ALL the skills and abilities you have. Write these down and read them once a day
2. Practice at whatever you wish to improve. If I gave you a die and asked you to throw 50, you would realise that is not possible. If, however, I gave you 50 turns you could achieve this goal.
3. Find the good in all your attempts at everything you do. No matter how small the task, you can find a success