The Hard Truth About Mental Toughness in Sports: What Some Coaches Get Wrong
- Dr Paul McCarthy
- Nov 4
- 11 min read
Mental toughness in sports remains one of sports development's most puzzling concepts. Though it's "instinctively recognizable," sports psychologist Michael Sheard points out that it's "endlessly tricky to pin down in a definition" . Coaches often say that "mental toughness is what separates the good from great" , yet their methods often work against building resilient athletes.
The biggest problem lies in outdated coaching methods that mistake suffering for growth. Research clearly shows that mentally tough athletes perform better, with 88% of studies backing this connection . The path to mental strength doesn't run through "endless push-ups and burpees" or withholding water during heat waves . Joel Jamieson explains that mental toughness boils down to "how much the brain values the work being done" . This basic misunderstanding creates a gap between true mental toughness and resilience and the ways coaches try to build these qualities.
This piece will get into four dangerous myths about mental toughness that still shape coaching philosophies. You'll learn why these ideas stick around and discover evidence-based alternatives that deliver results. These differences could reshape the scene not just for performance but also for an athlete's entire sports experience, whether you coach or compete.
What Coaches Commonly Get Wrong About Mental Toughness
Athletic coaches often undermine their goals to develop mental toughness through problematic approaches. Research challenges many well-intentioned athletic mentors' methods that unintentionally harm athletes' psychological development.
Confusing discipline with punishment
Youth sports face a basic misunderstanding: coaches and parents treat discipline and punishment as the same thing [1]. This confusion creates systemic problems in athlete development.
True discipline nurtures self-control, competence, and self-direction among young athletes. In stark comparison to this, punishment involves applying or withdrawing something to decrease unwanted behavior [1]. Coaches who don't understand this difference default to punitive methods that research links to negative outcomes:
Physical consequences including fatigue and injuries
Psychological damage like negative self-perception
Relational harm through tarnished sport relationships
Learning impairments and reduced desire to play [1]
"Discipline is a branch of punishment. [Discipline] sounds nicer. It's probably more politically correct to saying your disciplining a child than punishing. But it's the same thing," remarked one coach in a newer study, published in [1]. This flawed thinking stops coaches from developing resilient athletes.
Punishment typically shows a coach's "knee-jerk reaction to frustration" rather than a thoughtful development strategy [2]. The quickest way to improve involves helping athletes understand their mistakes, their impact, and prevention methods—this builds supportive relationships instead of antagonistic ones [2].
Equating silence with strength
Sports psychology has another misconception: emotional stoicism equals mental toughness. Many coaches believe silence shows strength, but this misses the mark on psychological resilience.
Mentally tough athletes don't just suppress emotions. They "have the courage to acknowledge and examine negative thoughts/emotions to gather information about their situation" [3]. This awareness helps them use emotional data constructively instead of ignoring it.
Silence has its place—athletes can "build mental resilience, manage pre-competition anxiety, and achieve their peak performance" through "silent reflection, visualization techniques, and personal mental anchors" [4]. Notwithstanding that, blindly connecting emotional suppression with toughness oversimplifies the issue dangerously.
Overemphasis on physical suffering
Mental toughness training in sports doesn't require extreme physical suffering, yet this "no pain, no gain" mindset still dominates coaching philosophies despite mounting evidence against it.
Pain remains "an authentic part of the sports experience" [5], but coaches misuse suffering. The traditional method of "running youth athletes until they puke" to build mental toughness is "not only unintelligent but irresponsible" [3].
Physical fitness shouldn't be the only way to measure mental toughness. It ignores vital elements like "professionalism, letting go of mistakes, being confident, performing with courage, and focusing under pressure" [3]. Mental toughness shows when athletes "tell a coach when you're struggling" or "reach out to a teammate"—skills that have "zero to do with how much weight someone can lift" [3].
Evidence-based approaches that promote genuine psychological strength should replace these misconceptions. Coaches must stop glorifying suffering to develop authentic mental toughness and resilience in sports.
Myth #1: Mental Toughness Means Never Showing Emotion
The biggest myth about mental toughness is that emotionally tough athletes never show their feelings. This wrong belief links emotional stoicism with psychological strength. It teaches athletes to suppress their emotions instead of managing them. Research shows this approach doesn't work—it actually hurts the resilience coaches want to build.
Why emotional suppression backfires
Scientists call emotional suppression a "response-focused strategy" that drains mental energy. Unlike healthy regulation techniques, it takes a lot of effort to control and stop natural emotional responses [6]. This creates several problems:
Athletes who hide their emotions perform worse. They struggle with pacing, experience higher physical strain, and don't achieve their best results [7]. A telling study revealed that participants who suppressed their emotions cycled slower. They produced less power, had lower maximum heart rates, and felt more physically exhausted [7].
Research classifies high expressive suppression as harmful and links it to emotional problems [8]. Athletes might think they're showing strength by hiding their nervousness about poor performance. The truth is they're using a strategy that research repeatedly shows is harmful [9].
This approach drains mental resources. Self-control runs out with use, whether the attempt to regulate works or not [10]. When depleted, athletes feel more negative emotions, get more worked up, and quit tasks more often [10].
The role of emotional regulation in performance
Effective emotional regulation is the life-blood of real mental toughness. It means knowing how to watch, assess, and adjust emotional reactions to perform better [11].
Cognitive reappraisal stands out as a better approach. Athletes reinterpret what situations mean before they react. Studies show this connects to better mental health, more positive emotions, and experiences that help performance [9].
Athletes who learn to see competitions as challenges instead of threats change how stressful situations affect them [9]. To name just one example, see how athletes can turn pre-competition nerves into excitement. Both feelings create similar body responses, but excitement helps while nerves hurt performance.
Sports' social side helps emotional wellbeing. Team activities encourage community and belonging—key ingredients for handling emotions well [12]. That's why the toughest athletes know asking teammates for support isn't weak—it's smart emotional management.
Regular sports participation helps develop psychological resilience through lessons about commitment, persistence, and handling letdowns [12]. These experiences build resilience by teaching athletes how to face life's challenges.
Coaches should help athletes recognize their emotional states and learn to regulate them instead of hiding them. Mental toughness isn't about feeling nothing. It's about managing feelings so they boost performance instead of hurting it.
Myth #2: Toughness Is Built Through Pain and Punishment
Sports culture deeply embeds the belief that suffering builds character. Many coaches adopt military-style conditioning to develop mental toughness in sports. They believe pushing athletes to their breaking point creates psychological resilience. Research paints a different picture.
The problem with military-style drills
Traditional military physical preparation relies on calisthenics, aerobic activities (marching, running, swimming), obstacle courses, and combat simulations [13]. These approaches serve their purpose in actual military training. Applying them blindly to sports overlooks vital differences between military and athletic contexts.
Exercise often becomes a tool for punishment—push-ups for mistakes, running laps for tardiness. This creates harmful psychological associations. Athletes start to view conditioning as punishment rather than a path to growth [14]. Studies on coaching behaviors show that exercise ranks as one of the most common punitive tools coaches use to manage athlete behavior [14].
How punishment reduces creativity and trust
Sports settings that use punishment lead to several negative outcomes. Athletes develop fear of failure and focus on avoiding mistakes instead of pursuing excellence [3]. Their performance suffers because they overthink during competition. This puts them in the wrong mental state to perform at their best [15].
This punitive approach creates an unpleasant learning environment. Team members bond over their shared resentment of the coach instead of forming positive connections [3]. The coach-athlete relationship breaks down, and trust—a vital element for development—erodes [3].
A coach's observation captures this perfectly: "If you as a coach use punishment for mistakes and losses, then you inadvertently teach your athletes to OVER-THINK during competition" [15].
Better alternatives to build resilience
Research reveals more effective ways to build genuine mental toughness:
Combined training methodologies: Studies show that mixing endurance and strength training works better than the one-dimensional approach common in punitive drills [16].
Individualized programming: Building resilience needs both personal and environmental factors [1]. Tailored approaches prove more effective than the one-size-fits-all method common in team sports [1].
Progressive loading with recovery: Training programs need periodization with progressive loads and enough recovery time to prevent injuries and overtraining [16].
We focused on creating what researchers call "controllable difficulties"—challenges that build skills through balanced support and struggle [1]. Coaches should see mistakes as learning opportunities rather than reasons for punishment. This helps athletes understand their errors and improve [15].
True mental toughness training in sports needs psychologically safe environments. Athletes should feel free to take risks, make mistakes, and grow—a stark contrast to environments built on fear and punishment.
Myth #3: You Either Have It or You Don’t
Many coaches believe in the flawed idea that mental toughness is something you're born with—you either have it or you don't. This belief completely misses what mental toughness in sports really means.
Mental toughness is a skill, not a trait
Sports psychology research spanning decades shows that mental toughness works like a trainable skill instead of a fixed personality trait. Scientists first looked at what made athletes mentally tough. Now they focus on how these qualities can grow and develop.
Mental toughness works just like a muscle—it gets stronger when you train it right and let it recover. Athletes don't see instant physical changes in their bodies, and mental toughness needs time to develop too. We can't just say some athletes "have it" while others don't. This oversimplifies a complex process that needs learning, practice, and fine-tuning.
The idea that mental toughness is a skill opens new doors for all athletes, whatever their natural personality or background. This new way of thinking helps coaches do more than just pick naturally tough athletes—they can build mental strength in everyone on the team.
How to develop mental toughness in sports
The best way to build mental toughness in sports needs specific psychological skills that you practice regularly:
Goal-setting mastery – Athletes learn to set challenging but reachable goals they can measure
Attentional control – Athletes develop focus on what matters while blocking distractions
Self-talk regulation – Athletes learn to spot and change unhelpful inner dialog
Emotional management – Athletes build skills to recognize emotions without letting them take control
We build mental toughness by creating tough mental challenges in a supportive environment. This balance lets athletes face difficulties without feeling overwhelmed—a vital difference from the punishment-based methods mentioned earlier.
Mental toughness combines several skills you can learn. Its development should follow the same rules as any other skill: clear teaching, practice time, helpful feedback, and gradually increasing difficulty. Coaches who see mental toughness as something they can develop help their athletes become more resilient than those who think it's fixed from birth.
Myth #4: Mental Toughness Means Doing It Alone
The lone wolf athlete remains one of sports' most persistent yet misleading archetypes. This idealized image doesn't match reality. It creates confusion about what makes an athlete mentally tough.
The importance of support systems
Support networks drive athletic success rather than hold it back. Athletes who feel supported by their environment build better collective confidence and team resilience [2]. A coach's support helps ease stress levels. Their constructive feedback and encouragement create more resilient athletes [2]. Research shows that athletes with strong support networks face fewer depression and anxiety symptoms after injuries. More than 80% of injured athletes lean on social support during their recovery [17].
Why asking for help is a sign of strength
People often think asking for help shows weakness, but it actually demonstrates psychological maturity. Still, only 22.4% of athletes seek formal help [18]. Athletes hesitate because they worry about stigma tied to their athletic identity. They fear getting cut from the team or worry about privacy in team settings [18]. Real mental toughness shows up when you know it's time to ask for support. As one expert puts it, "The ability to tell a coach when you're struggling or reach out to a teammate has zero to do with how much weight someone can lift."
Team dynamics and shared resilience
Mental toughness runs on teamwork rather than solo effort. Teams with strong bonds and shared confidence show greater resilience. This directly leads to better performance [2]. Shared leadership spreads responsibility across teams. Each member stays accountable during tough times [19]. Good team communication builds trust. This creates a safe space where athletes can redefine the limits of their abilities [20].
True mental toughness grows through connection, not isolation. Athletes who understand this paradox end up developing stronger psychological resilience than those who believe in going it alone.
Conclusion
Mental toughness is one of the most misunderstood parts of athletic development. Many coaches still spread harmful myths that end up undermining the quality they want to build. Real mental toughness is different substantially from old-school, punishment-based approaches that many sports settings still use.
Athletes need effective emotional regulation, not suppression. Those who understand and manage their emotions perform better than those trying to hide them. The old belief that suffering builds character ignores how punishment creates fear of failure and breaks the trust between coaches and athletes.
On top of that, it hurts growth when people think mental toughness is something you're born with rather than a skill you can develop. Mental toughness works like a muscle - it gets stronger through consistent practice of psychological skills. Athletes can think over techniques like goal-setting, attention control, and self-talk.
Strong support networks boost resilience, proving that asking for help shows strength, not weakness. Research contradicts the lone wolf athlete image. Teams with high cohesion and collective confidence show greater psychological strength consistently.
Coaches must leave these outdated approaches behind. Good coaches build environments where athletes take risks and learn from failures. They help players develop psychological skills progressively. Rather than demanding stone-faced athletes, they teach awareness and emotion management. They see mental toughness as something trainable, not fixed. They encourage supportive team dynamics instead of praising isolation.
Without doubt, building mental toughness needs challenge and difficulty. These challenges must be constructive, progressive, and well-supported. The difference between breaking an athlete and building resilience comes down to this basic principle. Coaches who understand mental toughness can revolutionize both athletic performance and the athlete's experience.
Key Takeaways
Mental toughness in sports is widely misunderstood, with many coaches using counterproductive methods that actually undermine athlete development. Here are the essential insights every coach and athlete should know:
• Mental toughness is emotional regulation, not suppression - Athletes perform better when they acknowledge and manage emotions rather than hiding them
• Punishment-based training backfires - Using pain and military-style drills creates fear of failure, reduces creativity, and damages coach-athlete trust
• Mental toughness is a trainable skill - Like physical strength, psychological resilience develops through deliberate practice of goal-setting, focus control, and self-talk regulation
• Seeking support demonstrates strength - Athletes with strong support networks show greater resilience and recover faster from setbacks than lone wolves
• Create challenging but supportive environments - Effective mental toughness development requires "controllable difficulties" with proper guidance, not punishment for mistakes
The most mentally tough athletes aren't those who suffer in silence—they're the ones who effectively manage emotions, learn from failures, and leverage their support systems to push through adversity. Coaches who understand this distinction can transform both performance and the entire athletic experience.
References
[1] - https://www.port.ac.uk/news-events-and-blogs/news/whats-the-secret-to-building-resilience-in-elite-sports[2] - https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12329992/[3] - https://onesportvoice.wordpress.com/2010/11/15/a-word-about-punishment-in-youth-sport/[4] - https://thebigeurico.com/silence-is-important-for-big-performance-harnessing-the-power-of-mental-clarity-in-sports/[5] - https://hummov.awf.wroc.pl/pdf-183405-104376?filename=104376.pdf[6] - https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8716387/[7] - https://www.researchgate.net/publication/265691785_Emotion_Regulation_and_Sport_Performance[8] - https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10374325/[9] - https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1205102/full[10] - https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10413200.2024.2413996[11] - https://thementalgame.me/blog/the-emotionally-intelligent-athlete-staying-calm-when-pressure-hits[12] - https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10819297/[13] - https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/17479541221116959[14] - https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10056869/[15] - https://www.competitivedge.com/using-punishment-as-a-coaching-tool/?srsltid=AfmBOorsya8PNgwsMxhT-R971X89BT8sjt09GCOCjpbMQEmHtbiLozoa[16] - https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1440244017318650[17] - https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4264649/[18] - https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1469029223002108[19] - https://www.sportsgovernanceacademy.org.uk/resources/blog/building-individual-and-team-resilience/[20] - https://www.researchgate.net/publication/387074764_The_Science_of_Team_Dynamics_A_Review_of_Psychological_Factors_Influencing_Team_Performance_in_Sports
