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Writer's pictureDr Paul McCarthy

The psychology of the acceptable footballer

Many people advise us to accept the outcome of events and move on with courage and optimism. It seems from this point of view that our acceptance is passive. We accept and we move on; however, this acceptance is passive because we assume the acceptance happens in our mind and I completed the job. Acceptance, like many things, is processes, not events. We need to practise acceptance for acceptance to be meaningful in our lives. When we practise acceptance, we are knowing ourselves, especially what we will accept and what we are not willing to accept in our lives. Our emotions might seem too hot or painful to handle, so we try to avoid them, but in the process, we miss out on the information they are trying to share with us. Such avoidance does not help us know or understand ourselves and adds to our list of problems. We need to handle ourselves with care and understanding during these points of reflection and change so that we can gently understand what we think, feel, and do daily. This practice of kindness and forgiveness towards ourselves helps us to change. Instead of the harsh, demeaning, criticising, and berating voice inside our heads, we hear a gentle, comforting and understanding voice.

The football player will find comfort and energy in practising acceptance. Learning about herself or himself and treating ourselves with understanding is the way forward. Look at the games or training sessions that have passed and see what you want to change for the better. Be open and try to keep all options on the table. Choose one attribute or characteristic to work on for the next week and see how you learn about your self. If you need help, just contact me here:


 


 


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